What should you do when only one partner wants to work on the relationship?
So, you have reached a point in your relationship where you are considering marriage counselling. This may be because you have gone through a difficult change, a loss, a move, a transition. It is also possible that one partner in the relationship was unfaithful, or you have lost communication, the spark or similar. There can be a large array of reasons why you may want to go to marriage counselling. However, what should you do when only one partner wants to work on the relationship?
Relationships are a two-person mission.
One sided relationship still consists of two people. If you have been working at improving the relationship and your partner has not, then you are in one of those relationships. Unfortunately, it is impossible for a one-sided relationship to work. However, if you are here, you may wonder how to try and fix it or whether you should move on.
You may be ready to go to a marriage counsellor, but what can you do if your partner is not? Is this the end of the relationship, or are there alternative paths you can take?
The best thing you can do to fix this one-sided relationship is
1. Be honest
Take the time to sit down with your partner and share what you have been feeling. There is a chance that due to time constraints, stress, or similar. Your partner does not even know you have been feeling like you are in a one-sided relationship. It is crucial to not attack or approach the situation with hostility. In these cases, the conversation may likely escalate and worsen the already tense situation.
2. Talk to an individual therapist.
A counsellor or licensed therapist may be able to provide you with insight on how to handle the situation. In certain circumstances, taking time for yourself and working through your own priorities will help you decide how to proceed with the relationship.
3. Set time aside to find priorities
If you want to see if the relationship is worth saving, there are certain things your partner is still willing to do. Going to a marriage counsellor may seem like an extreme step, but are they willing to work on it privately? Are they still committed to growth? Do you two genuinely respect one another? Do you share values? Do you share a vision of the future? and potentially most importantly, are you willing to forgive and move forward?
Just because your partner does not want to go to marriage counselling, does not mean the relationship is over. With a private counsellor, you may work through your personal journey and identify their blockages. Potentially once they see you progressing in your mental health, they may wish to join you. Remember that relationships are a journey, and it can be one of the hardest things you have ever done. No matter your personal case, a licensed psychologist can help navigate these difficult times.